Tuesday Morning Torah – January 7, 2014 | Congregation Torat El - Monmouth County Conservative Synagogue

Tuesday Morning Torah – January 7, 2014

MAKING CHOICES/ LIVING OUR PRIORITIES

 
Over the past few days, sports has been on my mind- and not just because of the NFL Division Playoffs. Yesterday I read an   article about Aaron Lieberman, an Orthodox college basketball player at Northwestern who became the first player to wear a kipa in Big Ten Conference history.  Lieberman, clearly making a statement about his commitment to God and Judaism in addition to his commitment to sports, got me thinking about another article that I read last week.

This wonderful piece of life “Torah” was from a pastor named Echo Kayser who wrote about the weekly tension that some families experience between choosing to “play” or choosing to “pray.”  Substitute the word Synagogue for Church and you have an issue that affects many of us. Pastor Kayser writes:

Last Sunday morning I found myself sitting on a soccer field with one of my children for a tournament game. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining. I was enjoying some fabulous coffee….I was also experiencing great frustration and conflict. I was frustrated because I could count 20 families from our church who were also at sports games that morning. This meant that these families were not at church.

I was also conflicted as I reflected on how I got into this situation. My husband and I know the value of church family. We know that consistency is very important for our children to build relationships with their church family…. We have made many decisions over the years to say “no” to other things in order to say “yes” to church. And, yet, here I was on a soccer field on a Sunday morning! A couple weeks earlier the coach gathered the parents around and presented this opportunity for the soccer tournament that would land on a Saturday and Sunday. The way it was put to us, I felt like I had no choice but to participate. The team wouldn’t be able to play in the tournament unless everyone chose to play. If we said no, we would be letting down 12 other kids.

So, here I was sitting on the sidelines of a soccer game contemplating the predicament of so many families. Many families I’ve talked to about this feel like they have no choice for a variety of reasons. Maybe it’s a sport that our kids love, maybe there are opportunities that would be missed if we pulled our kids, maybe we feel an obligation to a team, maybe there’s real potential in our little athletes that may never be recognized. There are many reasons that we come to the decisions that keep our families away from church. I completely understand how we get there – but I also know the long term effect that missing church will take on our families. And that’s the predicament that has been tormenting me…..

When we say “yes” to one thing, we are saying “no” to something else. I have seen it too easily happen that without meaning to reject church, families are saying “yes” to extracurricular activities – but this “yes” is also a “no” to consistency at church activities and developing relationships with our church family.  I have spoken to so many parents who spend years on the field, at the pool, on the ski slopes, in the gym, or in the studio and when they get to the other side of these years have deep regrets. Their children don’t want to go to church, they don’t have relationships with peers or leaders who know and love Jesus, and they have not developed the discipline of making church a priority. These parents who now have grown children have expressed that they would do it different if they could go back and do it again. I have had several parents with grown children express that it was not worth it. They did not carefully guard their priorities and allowed other commitments to push out what was most important. They can look back and see that the time spent on other activities directly affected their children’s relationship with church and this directly affected their relationship with God.

I’m back to my predicament….I know that church is important….I also feel like I don’t have a choice sometimes….. Will we look back and say, “Well, at least they made it to the championships!”? Or will we look back with regrets and disappointment that our priorities were not reflected on our calendar?

Like I said earlier, this particular weekend I could count 20 families in the same position that I found myself in. Most were also frustrated and feeling helpless. Most of my friends find themselves making this no-win choice at some point in the year depending on the season. Many families are even sacrificing rest and are so busy and going so hard that they are making themselves physically sick.

Could there be a better way?  What if we ALL joined together and said, “NO! No more sports on Sundays!”? When we were kids, there was never anything scheduled on Sundays. We never had to choose between sports and church. Sundays were saved for church and family and gathering with friends. Can we reclaim our Sundays if we all worked together?

To read the complete article,   click here:

What do you think? Do you experience this tension? Do you think it is possible to be seriously committed to sports and seriously committed to your Judaism? If your children are grown, do you have any regrets about choosing sports over synagogue? Are your current priorities in line with your current reality when it comes to your children? How might you incorporate more Shabbat into your life (in the synagogue, at home, before or after the Saturday game)?

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts!